in the midst of studying microbio, i daydreamed ..

i've never fell in love before. i never knew what love taste like. i never knew what is it like to fall in love.

i rejected love over and over again, and now i yearn for it. to be loved. to feel loved. to love. and then i realised, sometimes, what you want will never come true. what you want will never be yours. even if you really really want it, it's out of your reach, out of your grasp, out of your league.

i thought i've fallen in love before, but i was wrong. i thought finding someone to love is easy, but i was wrong. and then i thought back. could it be a wrong move five years ago, and i need another two years to repay my sin? or could it be myself, unwilling to step forward, in search of more? or could it be just fate playing with me, not letting me get what i really wanted?

microbio is weird. it lets my mind wander so far.