Dentist

Went to the dentist after many years. As the dentist was talking to me about my teeth, I couldn't help feeling the lump in my throat which I tried to swallow many times. My voice croaked every once in awhile which I tried to pretend it's my throat.

The tears today bring back memories, about how I felt about myself. I always wonder why am I different. When I was in primary school, I was the skinny bag of bones with my other heavier classmates. In secondary school, I was the one with altitude and bumpy skin, amongst my other friends. In college, I was the one with the mediocre everything. In university, I was the one with the bad skin amongst everything else. Why can't I just have normal skin, with normal height, with a normal face, with normal everything? Is it so hard to wish to not look so much like a freak?

The taunts, oh the taunts.

I admit I am paranoid. I admit I might be over-sensitive. I've toned down a hell lot. I wasn't so paranoid. I wasn't so sensitive. I wasn't so fussy. Why wasn't I more toned down in being the sore thumb?

So many questions even doctors couldn't answer.