exhaustion

i'm reaaaaaaally tired.

i slept at
4am on saturday.
330am on sunday.
2am on monday.
and today's tuesday.

dead beat.

and there's tonnes of stuff not done. things to collect, celebrations to celebrate, things to do. neverending. i need to start a list and show off to pple who says i'm so free.

on a side note, i cried. over nonsensical and nostalgic things, events, people, Buddy. i remembered the days where i thought the sun will never rise. i remembered about my last ten years and that they flew past just like that and then i linked it to Buddy who doesn't have a long lifespan. even typing about it makes me want to cry.

i don't want things to change, i don't want time to fly by. i want to be eighteen, and forever will be. i'm afraid of what lies ahead. i'm afraid of changes to everything and everybody around me.

maybe it's the exhaustion kicking in. sleep is what i need.